Paying the price of being “irregular”

Despite being a science stream student who is well exposed to biology and Chap 1 of Form 3 science, I actually never really knew that menses cycles are supposed to be regular/predictable/”calculateable”.  I reached puberty rather early.  11 years old I think.  Not exactly a pleasant experience discovering what that actually means since nobody really told me what to expect.  But Thank God for sisters, I’m glad the introduction was not too mind boggling.

Male readers – I apologize for having to talk about menses here.  You are free to browse away now if you have no interest in knowing anything about my ovulation experience and all the whatnots that come along with it.

I am in serious trouble

This week alone.. I have piled on 5lbs (and counting). I have been having heavy breakfast (that means rice + dishes) and lunch (still the usual amount despite having down a dinner portion of breakfast) and continues with late dinners thanks to the long working hours. I cannot stop binging on chips, anything salty followed by the craving to have anything sweet.  And the list goes on… I am horrifyingly chubby & round…and not to mention, I’m flat-headed officially since yesterday! *shrieks*

Dinner is at 7-ish and I just cooked up a pot of fettucine aglio olio!! and as I type..I’m already half way through.  And in case I haven’t mentioned…I also down half a packet of Cheesels while watching HOUSE.  O-M-G.

Stress.  PMS. That’s the two main culprit. But still. I don’t think it calls for such terrible treatment to my poor body….or does it?

Cleaning up my pasta now…

Grey Room – Damien Rice

I’m in that kind of melancholy mood; blame it on the hormones I would say.  One moment I can be all happy & chirpy, the next; I could just be biting your head off.  And suddenly you’ll find me at one corner about to burst into tears.  Did I also mention I’m stuffing my face as though I’ve been so deprived of food for the longest period of time? Yes.  That’s PMS my friend.

 

 

Well I’ve been here before
Sat on the floor in a grey grey room
Where I stay in all day
I don’t eat, but I play with this grey grey food
Desolé, if someone is prayin’ then I might break out,
Desolé, even if I scream I can’t scream that loud
I’m all alone again
Crawling back home again
Stuck by the phone again
Well I’ve been here before
Sat on a floor in a grey grey mood
Where I stay up all night
And all that I write is a grey grey tune
So pray for me child, just for a while
That I might break out yeah
Pray for me child
Even a smile would do for now
‘Cause I’m all alone again
Crawling back home again
Stuck by the phone again
Have I still got you to be my open door
Have I still got you to be my sandy shore
Have I still got you to cross my bridge in this storm
Have I still got you to keep me warm
If I squeeze my grape and I drink my wine
Coz if I squeeze my grape and I drink my wine
Oh coz nothing is lost, it’s just frozen in frost,
And it’s opening time, there’s no-one in line
But I’ve still got me to be your open door,
I’ve still got me to be your sandy shore
I’ve still got me to cross your bridge in this storm
And I’ve still got me to keep you warm
Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah

Hormonal effect

It’s tough being a woman.  I think you’ve heard that way too often.  I’m serious.  It’s tough.  I’m not saying it’s easy to be a man.  Don’t start that discussion.

Women are so subjected to the effects of hormonal fluctuation.  By that, I mean we have absolutely no control over how we will feel, act, react, respond, (and more) as these will all be driven by the going-high or diving-low of our hormones.  And today…is just another of those bad times.  When it comes to that part of the year; that part of the month; that part of the week… and that particular day; you just wish you can dive into your bed and smother your face in the pillow and shut the whole darn world out.  *Arrghh!!* *SOL*

Everything just went completely wrong since I got into office.  It’s like I just dived deep into the darkest part of the ocean and I’m surrounded by piranhas! (ok…biologically and environmentally incorrect cos piranhas are not found in the deepest part of the ocean! but..u geddit rite?) Argh! I’m so frustrated with so many things and I feel like I’m so overwhelmed with emotions.  At the slightest bit of trigger..I feel like I can just burst into tears and weep my hearts out! *wails*

There’s so much to do.  How am I going to cut my brains into different sections so that they can function on their own? Perhaps another few more extra pair of hands? Urgggh *SOL*

*SOL = scream out loud

Hide me!

Emotions taking a huge roller coaster ride since last week.  I’m feeling so horrible that I just wish I could dig a hole big enough to bury myself and never ever be found.  I can hear a lot of cheers in the background.  I know you are openly declaring the rejoice & triumph! *urk*

Just finish packing up for tomorrow’s event.  Gonna be out from morning…to morning…you can bet.  Will be so drop dead by the time I come back..and yet I have to remember to get up on time to be in church on Saturday morning to sing for a wedding.  Lord, please remind me to guard my voice. 

Honestly, I really regret agreeing to be part of this event.  Anything but office related.  Really.  I wish I can just disappear tomorrow and don’t have to bother about giving a valid excuse.  With so much going on in my life, I can barely even find the right channel to spit them out; and now I have to put up a work-face for more than 12 hours.  This has got to be one of the biggest mistake I’ve done so far in my career life (apart from signing above the dotted line 8 years ago!).  *scream out loud into my pillow*

All the horrid feelings and the desire to kill someone.  Don’t come near me I tell you.  Or I may as well kill you and then make you my cushion while I lie for the remaining rotting days under the ground.

*screams louder and bites Mocha’s ears*