If you know Chinese, then you should understand the title of the post. Else, this is the loosely translated meaning – One’s youth leaves no traces, time waits for no man.
Was trying to dig out some photos in my PC this morning for some work purpose and as I was going through the folder with work related photos, I revisited this particular file that I created last year. I remember sharing this with several others who have known me for the past decade. I reckon you’d still recognize the face… *smirk*
Click on image for larger view
I have spent close to a decade in this company. Made some good friends and bid farewell to even more. As time passes by, I look around and there really isn’t many left that I can regard as a friend; mostly, probably just acquaintance. So I cherish the long lasting friendships that I have..or had.
Given it has been a very challenging 1.5 years for me, there are many things running at the back of my mind; plenty of decisions, plenty of possibilities, loads of consequences and indefinite unknowns. Being a person who fears failure and uncertainties, clearly I have not come to a decision as to what should the next step be. But as I look back at the past decade, I cannot stop asking myself if this is what I want for the rests of my career. Am I a better person today? Have I achieved any life goal? What’s my life goal to begin with? 😛
I am lucky to have wonderful bosses throughout my career. Ones that I can really open up to and talk about almost anything. Well, almost 🙂 Perhaps I’m never too worried about being real and honest. Being judged is not something I’m overly concern. After all, most people are just passersby; they come and go. Who really remembers anything about this puny character that once crossed their path? (Not saying my working relationship with all my bosses are always smooth flowing; but that’s another story completely)
My current boss (Shiny) has been telling me that I have not look hard enough to find out what I truly am passionate about. He describes it as a fear to face the truth. I admit, he’s right. It’s easy to say “Do what you like/love”, but in actual fact it is likely to be one of most challenging decisions in life. Too many factors tied to it I guess. As for me, each time I inch closer to finding out what seems like the truth, I back off. Simply because I’m not entirely sure if I have the ability to face the decisions that follow suit. Perhaps I seek shelter in excuses and self-created lies…. *ashamed*
With the recent spike in departure from my circle of friends, it upsets me even more. Friends are leaving to pursue their dreams. Some leaving to start a new life, some left to progress in a different level. I’m happy for them – don’t get me wrong. I just feel that I’m either not trying hard enough or I’m not being contented/thankful for what I am blessed with. In either case, I’m left feeling beaten up and left behind.
I’ll always remember what my mum instill in me since young: 一寸光阴一寸金，寸金难买寸光阴; An inch of time is as precious as an inch of gold. But an inch of gold cannot trade for an inch of time. 青春不留痕，岁月不留人。
Point is, there will never be a right answer and there will never be someone who can give you the right answer either. Perhaps it’s a leap of faith. If you have a dream, go after it. Don’t live a life where you will look back and regret not taking the chance. Of course, in that whole process don’t take anyone around you for granted 🙂
So…still at square one.