青春不留痕,岁月不留人

If you know Chinese, then you should understand the title of the post.  Else, this is the loosely translated meaning – One’s youth leaves no traces, time waits for no man.

Was trying to dig out some photos in my PC this morning for some work purpose and as I was going through the folder with work related photos, I revisited this particular file that I created last year.  I remember sharing this with several others who have known me for the past decade.  I reckon you’d still recognize the face… *smirk*  

Click on image for larger view

I have spent close to a decade in this company.  Made some good friends and bid farewell to even more.  As time passes by, I look around and there really isn’t many left that I can regard as a friend; mostly, probably just acquaintance.  So I cherish the long lasting friendships that I have..or had.

Given it has been a very challenging 1.5 years for me, there are many things running at the back of my mind; plenty of decisions, plenty of possibilities, loads of consequences and indefinite unknowns.  Being a person who fears failure and uncertainties,  clearly I have not come to a decision as to what should the next step be.  But as I look back at the past decade, I cannot stop asking myself if this is what I want for the rests of my career.  Am I a better person today?  Have I achieved any life goal?  What’s my life goal to begin with? 😛

I am lucky to have wonderful bosses throughout my career.  Ones that I can really open up to and talk about almost anything.  Well, almost 🙂  Perhaps I’m never too worried about being real and honest.  Being judged is not something I’m overly concern.  After all, most people are just passersby; they come and go.  Who really remembers anything about this puny character that once crossed their path?  (Not saying my working relationship with all my bosses are always smooth flowing; but that’s another story completely)

My current boss (Shiny) has been telling me that I have not look hard enough to find out what I truly am passionate about.  He describes it as a fear to face the truth.  I admit, he’s right.  It’s easy to say “Do what you like/love”, but in actual fact it is likely to be one of most challenging decisions in life.  Too many factors tied to it I guess.  As for me, each time I inch closer to finding out what seems like the truth, I back off.  Simply because I’m not entirely sure if I have the ability to face the decisions that follow suit.  Perhaps I seek shelter in excuses and self-created lies…. *ashamed*

With the recent spike in departure from my circle of friends, it upsets me even more.  Friends are leaving to pursue their dreams.  Some leaving to start a new life, some left to progress in a different level.  I’m happy for them – don’t get me wrong.  I just feel that I’m either not trying hard enough or I’m not being contented/thankful for what I am blessed with.  In either case, I’m left feeling beaten up and left behind.

I’ll always remember what my mum instill in me since young: 一寸光阴一寸金,寸金难买寸光阴; An inch of time is as precious as an inch of gold. But an inch of gold cannot trade for an inch of time.   青春不留痕,岁月不留人。

Point is, there will never be a right answer and there will never be someone who can give you the right answer either.  Perhaps it’s a leap of faith.  If you have a dream, go after it.  Don’t live a life where you will look back and regret not taking the chance.  Of course, in that whole process don’t take anyone around you for granted 🙂

 So…still at square one.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “青春不留痕,岁月不留人

  1. Was Googling the Chinese proverb, and it led me here. Feeling exactly as what u wrote, “I’m either not trying hard enough or I’m not being contented/thankful for what I am blessed with”. Hope as the year progresses I can find some peace inside me. All the best to you too!

    • Hi Yan Lam,

      Not sure if you’ll be dropping by again. Thanks for leaving a note here which led me to read this post again. Though I’ve been away from this blog for a long time and not keeping things updated, I thought I’ll update you on what happened after this post. I indeed took the leap of faith and made some significant changes to pursue something I’ve been delaying for a long time. Although I’m not quite where I desire to be, but I’m happy I was courageous enough to try. I hope you will find the right motivation to give you that one push. All the best in the new year. Hopefully the next time I hear from you, you’re able to share some good experience!

  2. Ended here in the same way as Yan Lam, and well, what you wrote ‘Have I achieved any life goal? What’s my life goal to begin with?’ does strike a chord with what I’ve been thinking lately. You spent close to a decade in your company, well, I’ve spent more than a decade, and I’ve come to realize that whatever dreams I might once have had, have all been destroyed through the years. Until the discovery of a new path recently, I’d probably have forgotten how to dream already. Anyway, glad to see that you too decided to take the leap of faith and take action upon what you’ve wanted.

    • Hi Julian, it’s not by chance that both of you chanced upon this entry then. Regardless of how long it took us to discover a new spark or a long forgotten passion, to the least we can now proudly say we done something than to have look back 20 years from now wishing we had lived our lives different. Cheers to the future. All the best to you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s