Dream

Had a conversation with my colleague recently and we were discussing about how far up the ladder do we aspire to climb.  Interestingly, both of us appear to be very uncertain about this whole corporate ladder ambition and neither of us seemed convinced we are meant for this career.  I’m not surprise for myself since I think in general, I would very much want to take the easy way out and not have to go through every tiny details while striving for perfectionism!  Then again, some of you would prolly be raising your eyebrows as I say this cos you pretty much know my ability of complicating things and definitely not taking the easy way out *embarrassed*

As I progress in my role as a low level supervisor, I engaged into more management conversations with my peers and my boss.  In most cases, as they share their part of the story, my attention would quickly fade away and very soon, I would be imagining myself in their shoes and ponder over what I would do if it was me facing the situations they have.  Sad to say, in most scenarios, I would shudder in fear and pray that I will never have to face those… EVER! *tee hee*  Let’s just say my confidence level is very often down at the pit! *sigh*  Today as the org changes were announced, I couldn’t help but keep playing in my head, “What would I do if it was me who has to make those decisions?”.  There’s so much to consider, so many possibilities of things going wrong, so many risks that I will have to take and not to mention the bountiful consequences that I may even regret having to live with.  And yet, some decisions need to be made within constraints and I would be expected to stand in front of the crowd and explain my decisions; as just and as objective as I could possibly sound.  I don’t know about you..but this is just way beyond my imagination or comprehension.  Clearly, I’m not cut for such demanding role!  Don’t even try to convince me otherwise…

I have been remembering this song lately, one that I always like from the classic Disney cartoons.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to do what I truly love to do.  While I know most of us are merely just working because this is what we are supposed to do, I guess I just want to be able to feel happy doing what I have to do day in and day out.  Just knowing I can touch lives and make a difference.  Regardless of what the pay is or what title the job may provide.  All I want is to be able to go home every day, feeling like I have made a difference in someone’s life and tomorrow, there will be more that I can achieve or do.  I may not know what it is right now…*shrug* but who knows?  Someday…just perhaps someday…I will get the blessings from my loved ones to agree in freeing me to do what really matters to me and not what matters to the world.. *hopeful*

Do you have a dream too? Has it come true, or you are waiting for that day to come? 🙂

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