This year alone, I have bid farewell to several friends while several more will be leaving in the next few months. If you know me well, you would know how much I hate farewells..that, includes departures of love and dear ones..(ok, not going there).
Another good friend is about to leave my workplace and start her journey to freedom; traveling and doing things she likes. Of course, she has accumulated enough funds throughout the many years to support this dream and most importantly to be with her husband. Then, Jup decides to leave the island entirely and go back home to be nearer to her family.
Some of them left for better job prospects while some just wants to get out of the routine/suffering that they were/are enduring. While I know the grass is always greener on the other side..it’s hard not to feel like perhaps it’s also my time….
Feeling rather down and disturbed by things at work, people that I have to work with and all the struggles that I feel inside, I cannot lie that the thoughts of quitting is crawling back again. This time around, the desire is so strong and the patience continues to thin. I don’t know if I still understand the meaning of work and life. It just feels like I’m completely consumed by the expectations (self and others) and I’m just setting myself to fail. I don’t know why there’s just no presence of courage or confidence…. 😦
It’s tiring. I’m exhausted from trying mentally, physically and emotionally. Sigh.
Circa 2004: Goodbye Swallow…
PS: I managed to lose close to 1.5kg in 2 weeks. Not bad for a start…