Despite being a science stream student who is well exposed to biology and Chap 1 of Form 3 science, I actually never really knew that menses cycles are supposed to be regular/predictable/”calculateable”. I reached puberty rather early. 11 years old I think. Not exactly a pleasant experience discovering what that actually means since nobody really told me what to expect. But Thank God for sisters, I’m glad the introduction was not too mind boggling.
Male readers – I apologize for having to talk about menses here. You are free to browse away now if you have no interest in knowing anything about my ovulation experience and all the whatnots that come along with it.
Back to the regular cycles. I only discovered through some conversations with my housemates back in Uni days that they could miraculously calculate the next best friend visits. Interesting and very fascinating. As much as I could not predict my next cycle, I still don’t even know how long is the break in between visits. I am a certified irregular. In fact, most females in my family experience the same thing. I guess it’s hereditary – bad, but it runs in the genes.
Being irregular means you probably do not have to go through the menses hassle as often as 11 to 12 months a year. At most, probably just 8 times. So, that means you save on you-know-what. That said, I am never spared from PMS. The “P” for pre, during and post menstrual. During these time (which is almost everyday of the month), I go through horrible mood swings, hormonal changes, breakouts, bloatness, abdominal pain/cramps, cravings, etc. Usually, 2 weeks before the “real deal”, PMS is the worst. It took Bibs a while to realize how disastrous and lethal my PMS can be. Now, whenever I declare PMS-days, he knows he has to stay away but yet shower me with lots of love as and when demanded.
My irregularity caused me to experience “drought” ranging from 2 months to 8 months. The latter was the longest I have experienced and that was during Uni days. I am extremely sensitive towards stress (mental or emotional). The slightest bit of stress would push out the cycle further. Very bad. I still remember my desperation begging the doctor to find me a solution during the 8 months of struggle. You see, despite the “drought” I still have to endure all the signs and symptoms; very often, I have to live with the accumulated effects of PMS which is really horrible. Hence, despite the economical aspects of being irregular, nothing else is fun.
I have been keeping track of my dates for the past 1.5 years now and my graph is just crazy. It can fluctuate from 32 days to 78 days only to plunge right into 104 days… You think the share market is bad? Try plotting my graph!
My recent wait was 78 days. And the floodgates opened on Monday. It’s Thursday today and I am telling you, I wish I could just break my body into two parts and just leave my lower half in bed so that I don’t have to endure the back pain and the terrible cramps. I hate it. I don’t know how pregnant ladies can tolerate the backaches, but this time around it is really bad. My pelvic muscles are so sore that no matter how I try to adjust or stretch, nothing helps. I can feel my shoulders and neck tensing so badly just to lift up my upper body weight from resting on my pelvic. Me no likey. And I’m not kidding about my PMS and hormonal change this time around. I have been so horrifyingly stressed out emotionally that I feel like I could just weep my eyeballs out in the middle of work. I fear so much that I would lash out on someone (worse if it’s my boss) just because this week, my uterus has taken over my brain. Forgive the blood shot. That said, this week is very difficult for me. It has been very struggling for the past few weeks (possibly building up to this). I just hope this is the peak of it and very soon it will all come down again. I just need a break from all these crazy emotion roller coaster ride. It’s terrible. It’s tiring. It’s frustrating.
I’m sorry I have to rant about such personal phenomena. I have been trying to avoid posting anything at all. But I can’t help to notice how tired I am the past few days. And today I can tell my body is just crashing down. Sigh. Hoping things will be better by weekend. Body o’ body, I know you are going through a lot of trauma…just hang in there…