Where did the romance go?

“The Light Breakfast” session today discussed on whether if romance no longer lasts in relationships.  While most (including the DJ herself) believed that men do not show or have difficulty displaying affection and romanticism beyond the courtship phase, some callers shared their share of relationship/marriage bliss that would totally make you envious over their men.  One of the female caller shared that despite having had 6 children and being married for almost 10 years now, her husband still takes her out for dates (just two of them), set aside their-time, hold hands, sends her flowers (occasionally), and etc.  She emphasized that “busy” is not an excuse because in her case they are both very busy people and her husband travels all the time.  But whenever he returns from his business trip, he’ll give her a call when he’s on the way home saying that he’ll come home to pick her up for a drink or a stroll; just something as simple.  But what I liked about her story is that she mentioned about the communication between them that she cherishes the most.  In her words, “We talk about everything.  We often end up arguing and we argue a lot. But we are happy with the fact that we are talking because at the end of the day, we are both satisfied”.  How true.  Back to the basics – communicate.  What’s romance when there’s no interaction?

I’m a very possessive person (in case you haven’t already notice) and I certainly yearn for affection and attention (yes…I know I have Attention Deficit Syndrome!).  Very often I cannot tolerate silence in my relationship.  Silence not only in terms of absence-of-noise but the lack of intimacy and communication (in all aspects).  Perhaps I may demand for flowers but I think I can live without it since it’s no biggie anyways.  I may occasionally stomp my feet and wonder “Why you don’t buy me anything anymore?!” – but I think I can also live with much less of that too (I didn’t say “I can live without it” k?).  In a relationship, I expect continuous effort in sustaining the level of romance and love between two person.  Nothing should seize or diminish as you progress in a relationship because if that happens, I think there’s only one way the relationship will head – dead end.  A male caller shared his view on romanticism and he mentioned that he doesn’t understand why people have to stop (literally) being romantic or showing affection towards their partners after the courtship phase just because they think that they have “gotten” or “owned” a person? True.  I ask that very often too (in my head that is..).

IMHO, if one forgets to show affection & appreciation to one’s partner; it’s a sign of taking one’s partner for granted. Really…if you think about it, it’s not about asking for expensive gifts or demanding for 24/7 lovey-dovey acts/sweet-talks.  A small-simple-yet-consistent gesture such as a hug, a i-mean-it-when-i-say-i-♥-you (not with your eyes stuck on the football/basketball match), a hold-my-hand-while-we-stroll-down-Tesco-aisle, a let’s-cuddle-and-talk-about-our-day before going into snore mode, (and much more) is really sufficient to keep things going.  When you start to realize that it no longer takes any extra effort to do something for your partner, that’s when things begin to get complacent and you might as well just poke/kick yourself a little harder to wake up from the snooze.  Seriously…if you love someone, you’ve got to love him/her all the way through; if not more everyday..it should be just as much as you had when it all started.  Having said so, you must also understand your partner and accept him/her as he/she is.  If he/she is generally a person who has difficulty expressing him/her-self..then, you might just have to put in the extra effort to slowly educate him/her.  By educating, it does not mean shoving down his/her throat on what you expect or want out of him/her.  Be patient…and really take the time to slowly let him/her know what it takes to make the relationship work.  Love is about acceptance, forgiveness and complementing one another.

So…if you think your relationship with your b/g-friends or husband/wife has been pretty much stagnant with loads of complacency falling in…think of something different to do this weekend.  Set aside time for just the two of you and really make the best out of the time.  Need not be a huge block of time out…need not be an extraordinary outing…but it must be a quality time for two of you with no distraction, no interference.  Even if it means watching a cheesy movie together…JUZDOWIT! 😀

Something cheesy for a Friday 😀

Two Is Better Than One
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
“Hey, you know, this could be something”
‘Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I’m left with nothing

So maybe it’s true
That I can’t live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There’s so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you’ve already got me coming undone
And I’m thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
‘Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything’s okay
I’m finally now believing

That maybe it’s true
That I can’t live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There’s so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you’ve already got me coming undone
And I’m thinking two is better than one

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, “Hey,”
Maybe it’s true
That I can’t live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There’s so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you’ve already got me coming undone
And I’m thinking
I can’t live without you
‘Cause, baby, two is better than one
There’s so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I’ll figure it out
When all is said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one

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2 thoughts on “Where did the romance go?

  1. omg, that’s one of my favourite songs 😛

    You are sounding like the love guru already 😀 heheh…but I so AGREE with you all d way! Romance is not only when u feel like it – but in love, we always gotta make time and put in the effort to touch our bf or gf or spouse’s heart 🙂

    • *ahem* i just took the gist from the radio 😛 only the “IMHO” section was purely my “teaching” LOLx!! (look who’s talking :P)

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